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Artist Statement

These works are a kind of self-portrait. The references used were mostly taken of my own body, particularly of my hands, and the emotions being expressed are deeply personal. Living with chronic physical and emotional pain is a very isolating experience, both because it lives so deeply in the body and because it can be very difficult to talk about. The drawings and paintings I’ve done seek to crack open the door for those of us who can’t share our experiences, or who haven’t found the words to express what they’re going through.

As a person living with chronic pain, Dissociative Identity Disorder, and other mental health struggles, there are some feelings too complicated to express in words. My drawings and paintings depict a conversation between parts of the self- the self-hating parts and the self-soothing parts. And, with great care, I’ve attempted to show the parts of the self that are trying to soothe but have never known kindness. They do not know how to reach out without pain. These parts, represented by twisting hands and disorganized bodies, clutch at the parts of self that are more human-looking. Their grip can appear confused and threatening. But they mean no real harm. They simply do not know how else to hold on.