Dear Pygmalion

by Danielle Cadena Deulen


 

I walked into your studio and you began to invent me, to carve the half-peach of my cheek, to shape the slopes and angles of my nose, decide what tone my voice would take. When you hear me speak, I speak in keys: I ring the low notes of locks. I was already in love with another, but never mind that. Never mind that the night was wet, that she and I had broken our naked sleep to bring you a key for a door you were locked out of, in exchange for a turquoise girl: a painting that didn鈥檛 sell. I want to go on, but my voice wasn鈥檛 made to bend into past tense, unless to say I was nothing before you. Even daylight has permission to love what it wants, but you didn鈥檛 carve daylight. So, I suppose this is the exchange: I live and you love me. I must be loved. I must contain it quietly like a vessel, even if my lip is sharp and means to cut you. Even if I still dream of her tying the boxed painting to the roof of her car, riding home beneath a break in clouds, unwrapping me on her bedroom floor. So, here I am now: blanched clean and silent for you, a colorless muse. I know what you鈥檙e thinking: I鈥檝e confused the stories. I was never the turquoise girl鈥攎y body always an uncut key inside a bundle of ivory. And when my lover left your studio, she left without me. I lay there untouched, raw in the dim light, in a mess of paint and tarps and felt your fingers fold around the cold bone that would become my left thigh, let your sharp eyes wait until something in me made something in you unlock. 

 


About the Author

Danielle Cadena Deulen is a poet, essayist, and podcast host. She is the author of three books and a chapbook: , which won the Book Contest, American Libretto, which won the  Chapbook Contest; , which won the  and the ; and , which won the  and the . Her honors include an , an  Individual Excellence Award, and a Jay C. and Ruth Halls Poetry Fellowship from the Wisconsin Institute for Creative Writing at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. She is co-creator and host of 鈥,鈥 a literary podcast and radio show. She is an assistant professor for the graduate creative writing program at  in Atlanta. You can find out more at the .