The Log

Keigh Ahr


鈥淭hat don鈥檛 look good.鈥 Jimmy Saunders lifted his chin, pointing it beyond the windshield of his van. In the passenger seat next to Jimmy, Rex Ankiel saw blue oscillating lights in the late afternoon dusk behind the hill they were approaching.

As the van crested the hill, the source of the flashing lights became visible through the frigid March rain. Parked on the left side of the road was a police squad car, the vehicle鈥檚 azure lanterns rotating silently on its roof. An officer stood in the middle of the road, the back of his poncho reflecting the van鈥檚 headlights. He held a long flashlight in his right hand at shoulder height, the beam aimed down like a spear. Jimmy stopped the van several yards behind the officer.

鈥淲hat鈥檚 he standing there for?鈥 Rex asked, unable to see through the foggy wall of cold rain.

鈥淭here, in front of him,鈥 Jimmy said. Rex squinted and finally saw the object the officer was examining 鈥- a tree, its wide trunk lying across the width of the road, thin fingers of branches extending up. Remnants of bark and leafless branches lay on the pavement around the officer, now speaking into a communicator on his left shoulder.

Rex frowned. A high school senior in the rural town of Bark Bay, he couldn鈥檛 afford further delays in getting back to his family鈥檚 trailer, as practice with his school鈥檚 fencing team had run later than usual this Tuesday. Rex also didn鈥檛 want to test the patience of Mr. Saunders, the team鈥檚 new assistant coach, who鈥檇 reluctantly agreed to give Rex a ride when a long walk home had become the teen鈥檚 only other option.

The tree had fallen from a thick forest on the right side of the road. Rex saw an open field on the opposite side. 鈥淐an we get around it?鈥

鈥淣ot in this weather. Summertime, or maybe even winter when the ground鈥檚 frozen. But in this spring mud, we鈥檇 likely get stuck. Ain鈥檛 taking no chances, Slim.鈥 Jimmy tapped the dashboard twice with his right hand. 鈥淚 make deliveries in this van for my catering business. This vehicle goes into the shop, I鈥檓 screwed.鈥

Rex pointed his thumb behind them. 鈥淲e could turn around and take the county road.鈥

鈥淒idn鈥檛 you say you live a little way up from here?鈥 When Rex nodded, Jimmy added, 鈥淲ay that county road bends, circling back might take half an hour.鈥 Outside the van, the officer continued talking into his communicator. 鈥淟et鈥檚 see if we can find out when they鈥檙e fixing to move this log.鈥

Rex sank back into his seat, puffed his cheeks, exhaled. He鈥檇 considered skipping practice that morning when his mother couldn鈥檛 get herself out of bed, but being on the fencing team was one of his few pleasures at high school. He was a frequent target of abuse for several reasons: his unusual height and thin frame, his family鈥檚 dependence on food stamps and welfare, and his absent father, whose Iroquois ancestry was evident in Rex鈥檚 face. When teachers or administrators weren鈥檛 within listening distance, students called him the Starving Scarecrow, Chief Scarecrow, Red Skeleton, and lately, the Iriqueer. Rex wondered how many of his abusers knew how close this latest insult came to the truth.

The fencing team, though, was different. Every student on the squad had some characteristic that marked them as different, unorthodox, odd, geeky, or just plain weird. During practice each Tuesday afternoon he was just Rex, a fencer, a teammate. Rex was glad he鈥檇 gone to practice that day. He just hoped this delay wouldn鈥檛 last much longer.

The officer stopped talking into his communicator, then turned and approached the van. 鈥淕uess it鈥檚 time,鈥 Jimmy grumbled as he pressed the button to roll down his window. He then extended his arms across the top of the steering wheel, palms down, fingers loose. Rex understood the gesture鈥檚 significance; one of Bark Bay鈥檚 few African-American residents was identifying a reality Rex didn鈥檛 want to recognize existed in their small town.

The officer stopped and pointed his flashlight at the van, its beam flooding the cabin. Jimmy frowned but kept his arms extended over the wheel. The beam lowered, found the license plate, then raised back up. The officer took two steps forward, stopping outside the driver door and pointing his flashlight directly onto Jimmy鈥檚 face.

Squinting, Jimmy asked, 鈥淵ou make a call about getting that log out the way?鈥

鈥淭here鈥檚 a tow truck coming. Had dispatch call a shop soon as I got here.鈥 The officer flicked his beam at the side of the van, then back up at Jimmy. 鈥淒oes the owner of this van know you鈥檙e out driving it tonight?鈥

Jimmy scowled. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e speaking to the owner of this van. You must be new in town.鈥

鈥淭wo months, yes.鈥 The officer stepped back and directed his light to the side of the van. He then lowered his flashlight, took several more steps back, then spoke again into the communicator on his left shoulder.

鈥淪urprised I ain鈥檛 seen this rookie cop before today,鈥 Jimmy said, his voice low and terse. 鈥淯sually only takes them a week to pull me over for something 鈥- taillight out, rolling stop, forgetting to signal.鈥 The rain began falling more steadily, drumming on the roof of the van.

Rex was uncomfortable with Jimmy鈥檚 tone. 鈥淚 really appreciate you鈥檙e driving me home tonight,鈥 Rex said.

鈥淣o problem, Slim.鈥 Softness had returned to Jimmy鈥檚 voice. 鈥淒aniel really had you kyids working tonight.鈥

Weeks earlier, Rex had noted how Jimmy pronounced the word kid as if it contained an extra y, kyid. 鈥淐oach Dan wants us to be ready for our tournament this Saturday. You coming?鈥

鈥淲eekend鈥檚 when I make my money, Slim. Bad enough Daniel has me come in to help on my off day.鈥 Dan Jacobs was known as Mr. Jacobs when he taught English at Bark Bay High School but as Coach Dan when he led the school鈥檚 fencing team. When Coach Dan had introduced Jimmy at the first practice after the holidays, Rex and his teammates hadn鈥檛 known how to react. From what little they knew of him, Jimmy was reclusive, often terse, a perception reinforced by his saying just call me Jimmy, none of this Mr. Saunders stuff and if one of you fools calls me Coach Jimmy I鈥檒l have you running laps out in the cold. His criticism was brusque, keep your fool back straight, you鈥檙e fencing not digging a ditch, but was proficient with the epee, Rex鈥檚 preferred fencing weapon, and nearly as tall as the lanky teen. In the brief time they鈥檇 worked together, Rex had begun feeling Jimmy would become more helpful to his game than even Coach Dan had been.

Outside the van, the officer looked up at Jimmy, then turned around and spoke again into his shoulder communicator. 鈥淚f you got a tournament this weekend,鈥 Jimmy said to Rex, 鈥淚鈥檓 surprised your friend Jolly wasn鈥檛 at practice tonight.鈥 John Johnson, Rex鈥檚 closest friend on the team, insisted everyone call him Double-J. Jimmy, however, seemed to have his own name for everyone on the team.

鈥淒ouble-J said he had to work. And you know he doesn鈥檛 like being called Jolly,鈥 Rex replied.

鈥淛olly takes himself too serious. Where鈥檚 he work?鈥

鈥淗e鈥檚 a mechanic, at Lefty鈥檚 Auto Shop.鈥

鈥淭hat鈥檚 where I go to get my van worked on. Surprised Lefty lets him work there,鈥 Jimmy said.

鈥淏ecause he鈥檚 a student?鈥

鈥淢ore on account of his temper, Slim. Had one myself at his age, but nothing like Jolly鈥檚. He鈥檚 always picking a fight with someone. Imagine he鈥檚 not too pleasant to work with.鈥

Rex laughed. 鈥淒ouble-J says being angry is what makes him a good fencer.鈥

Jimmy shook his head. 鈥淔irst lesson my coach taught me was to have a clear mind when you鈥檙e fencing, and you鈥檙e mind ain鈥檛 clear when you鈥檙e angry. Jolly needs to control himself. Needs a haircut too.鈥 Double-J鈥檚 black hair extended well past his shoulders but he refused to tie it back, except when ordered by a judge during tournaments. 鈥淪urprised that boy鈥檚 mess don鈥檛 get caught in a fan belt or something.鈥

This was already the longest non-fencing conversation Rex had held with Jimmy. The teen decided it was time to explore a topic that had been percolating among the fencing team since Jimmy鈥檚 arrival. 鈥淢ind if I ask you a question?鈥

Jimmy snorted. 鈥淕ot nothing better to do.鈥

鈥淵ou obviously know fencing, but how鈥檇 Coach Dan get you to help with the team? He鈥檚 a teacher, we鈥檙e students, but you don鈥檛 have any connection to the school.鈥 Jimmy鈥檚 pronounced Southern accent, combined with a refusal to discuss his background, had inspired rumors within the team about Jimmy鈥檚 arrival to Bark Bay in the first place. The speculation was often outlandish: Jimmy was on the run from the law or a debt he couldn鈥檛 repay; he had abandoned a family, a woman he鈥檇 never married and the children he鈥檇 fathered; his business went bankrupt and he came to Bark Bay in humiliation; he鈥檇 fled the south pursued by a mob of hooded Klansmen firing shotguns and brandishing a burning cross. Rex had ridiculed these stories and called out the not-so-subtle racism, but he needed facts to dismiss the lurid fictions.

鈥淭otal coincidence,鈥 Jimmy replied. 鈥淚 was working a party in December, and Daniel was one of the guests. Heard him talk to someone about being the fencing coach at the school while I was switching out a tray. Told him I鈥檇 been a fencer too, back in the day.鈥

鈥淲hich college?鈥

鈥淣ever had no use for college, Slim. I went to a parochial high school, had this friend on the fencing team who talked me into going to practice one day. Damnedest sport I鈥檇 ever seen. Had a good time, so I went back the next practice. Wound up fencing all four years of school, then a couple more after that.鈥 He looked over at Rex and smiled. 鈥淥nce Daniel heard me say that, he took my business card and told me he needed a hand with you kyids. Called me the next day, and kept calling me until I said yes.鈥 Outside the van, the officer turned around and walked towards them. 鈥淕uy must have an update,鈥 Jimmy said, extending his arms over the steering wheel again.

The officer came up to the driver鈥檚 door and jabbed the beam of his flashlight back into the cabin. 鈥淪tep out of the van,鈥 the officer ordered.

Rex saw Jimmy鈥檚 jaw tighten. 鈥淐an I ask why?鈥 Jimmy asked.

鈥淚 need to verify your appearance against the description of a person involved in an incident this afternoon.鈥

Jimmy stared back at the officer a moment. 鈥淲as this 鈥榠ncident鈥 at a gas station on Water Street?鈥 Jimmy asked. 鈥淎round 2?鈥

The officer swallowed as wet snow mixed with rain continued falling on him. 鈥淎 citizen reported a confrontation at that place and time with a man who fits your description.鈥

鈥淎n African-American male, right?鈥 Jimmy appeared to be speaking more slowly than usual, as if he were silently editing his words. 鈥淭here鈥檚 no reason for me to step out of the van, because I鈥檒l confess to being the man involved in this so-called 鈥榠ncident.鈥 But there was no confrontation, officer. It was an argument of no consequence.鈥

鈥淗e says you threatened 鈥撯

鈥淚 made no threat, officer.鈥 Rex had often heard this tone in Jimmy鈥檚 voice during practice: Listen up, I鈥檓 not messing with you no more. 鈥淚 was returning to this van after buying coffee from inside the store when a man called out to me, saying I鈥檇 parked too close to his car. I showed him my wheels were within the yellow lines, then told him鈥 to get lost. I then got in my van and drove away. This 鈥榠ncident鈥 was a dispute over a parking space. I can give you the names of a few people who were in the lot and witnessed our argument, and if you called them they would verify there was no threat made. But you have more important matters to attend to, officer. Such as finding out what鈥檚 taking so long to get this damn log out the way.鈥

The officer seemed unsure how to respond. Rex silently pleaded with him to walk away from the escalating tension. But the officer then cleared his throat and pointed the beam of his flashlight squarely into Jimmy鈥檚 face. 鈥淕et out of the van.鈥

鈥淢y stepping out into the cold won鈥檛 do anything to help with this log.鈥

鈥淚t鈥檚 my duty 鈥撯

鈥淭o investigate an argument over a parking space?鈥 Jimmy鈥檚 voice was now simmering, on the verge of boiling.

The officer gritted his teeth. 鈥淚鈥檓 going to ask again 鈥撯

The tow truck!鈥 Rex followed his cry by pointing to the flashing amber lights that had caught the corner of his vision. The officer glanced at the approaching lights as the outline of a vehicle with a winch extending from its back became visible in the van鈥檚 headlights.

The officer looked back up at Jimmy. 鈥淒on鈥檛 move,鈥 he commanded, then turned and walked towards the approaching truck. Rex looked over at Jimmy, whose face was tight with fury. The truck squealed to a stop, and the officer stepped over the fallen tree. 鈥淲ell look at that,鈥 Jimmy said, his voice cooling. 鈥淛im Dandy to the rescue.鈥

The tow truck drove off the road, its wide tires digging into the soft shoulder, then reversed back onto the pavement, the tall boom winch at the vehicle鈥檚 rear now facing the fallen tree. The driver of the tow truck exited the vehicle and stepped forward into the beams of the van鈥檚 headlights as the officer approached. When Rex saw the curtain of black hair down the driver鈥檚 back, he gasped.

鈥淗oly shit.鈥 Rex glanced back at the truck and read the words painted on the rear fender: Lefty鈥檚 Auto Shop. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 Double-J.鈥

鈥淛olly?鈥 Jimmy asked. Rex nodded silently, his attention on his fencing teammate. The officer waved down at the tree lying across the road; Double-J nodded, turning back towards the tow truck.

The officer then waved towards the van, and Rex saw his chest ripple with laughter. Double-J stopped and turned towards the officer, his face twisting into a scowl. The officer stopped laughing.

鈥淭his don鈥檛 look good,鈥 Jimmy said. Double-J pointed at the officer and spoke, his words coming through the van鈥檚 open window. What the fuck did you say?

Rex sank into his seat. 鈥淒on鈥檛 be an idiot, Double-J.鈥

The officer pointed at the log, and Rex heard him ordering Double-J to proceed with clearing the road. Double-J鈥檚 face erupted in anger. Dumb-ass piece of shit鈥

Rex reached for his window control and pressed it down. He鈥檇 seen Double-J start enough fights, both verbal and physical, to know what was coming next. He watched in horror as Double-J stepped towards the officer and jabbed his right index finger in accusation, his angry voice becoming clearer as Rex鈥檚 window descended. You racist motherfucker鈥 

Shit!鈥 Jimmy鈥檚 sudden yell startled Rex, who watched in disbelief as Jimmy thrust open his door and raced into the cold night air. Jimmy ran forward and jumped on the fallen tree, then pointed at Double-J -鈥 鈥淕et your ass back in that damn truck!鈥 Double-J threw his arms up angrily as Jimmy continued pointing at him. 鈥淵ou鈥檝e been called to do a job, so do it! I got no time for your foolishness, boy! Your friend鈥檚 back there riding in my van and I need to get him home, then get my own self home, and the only thing that鈥檚 keeping us from getting where we need to go is this damn log. You鈥檙e the only one with the ability to move this thing, so shut your damn mouth, get your sorry ass back in that truck, and get on with what you鈥檙e supposed to be doing!鈥

Double-J and the officer looked up at Jimmy, the blue and amber lights dancing across their stunned faces. Rex realized he was holding his breath.

鈥淭hat鈥檚 right,鈥 the officer finally said, pointing at Double-J. 鈥淕et this log off the road, immediately.鈥

Double-J didn鈥檛 seem to notice the officer as his eyes remained focused on Jimmy, who glared down at the teen. Finally Double-J turned his head and spat. Rex exhaled as he saw Double-J stomp back to the tow truck, the officer following. Jimmy jumped back off the log and kept his vision focused on Double-J and the officer as he walked backwards slowly until he reached the van鈥檚 door.

鈥凄耻尘产-补蝉蝉 kyids,鈥 Jimmy muttered as he climbed back into the van.

Rex closed his window as the hydraulic winch on the tow truck lowered. Double-J exited the truck and retrieved chains from a rear compartment. As he watched Double-J wrap the chains around the wide trunk and hook them to the winch, Rex sighed with relief. But then he looked over at Jimmy, muttering under his breath behind the van鈥檚 steering wheel.

The winch鈥檚 hydraulics lifted the upper portion of the tree off the pavement. The orange lights of the truck pulled out into the open field, dragging the obstacle off the road. The officer tossed large detritus of bark and limbs into the field, then waved the van forward as he stepped onto the gravel shoulder. Jimmy pulled ahead, stopping as he came up to the officer.

鈥淲e done here?鈥 Jimmy asked.

鈥淢ove along,鈥 the officer replied, without looking at Jimmy.

Jimmy nodded and drove past the dismembered remnant of the tree. He stopped the van next to Double-J, who was now retrieving the truck鈥檚 chains. Jimmy鈥檚 window was still open, and he called to Double-J. 鈥淭hat was really stupid, what you just did.鈥

Double-J smirked. 鈥淚 knew what I was doing.鈥

鈥淵ou see that bulge on his right hip? You don鈥檛 mess with people carrying guns, Jolly.鈥

鈥淚鈥檓 not 鈥-鈥

鈥淲hy weren鈥檛 you at practice tonight?鈥

Double-J pointed at the tow truck. 鈥淲orking.鈥

Jimmy began rolling up his window. 鈥淭ell Lefty you ain鈥檛 working next Tuesday, Jolly.鈥

鈥淢y name鈥檚 not fucking 鈥-鈥

The window鈥檚 ascent stopped. 鈥淪tart of practice next Tuesday,鈥 Jimmy said. 鈥淲e fence to five touches, you choose the weapon. You beat me, I call you whatever you want. Until then, you鈥檙e Jolly.鈥

Double-J chuckled. 鈥淪aber. You won鈥檛 get two touches off me.鈥

Jimmy nodded. 鈥淪ee you Tuesday, Jolly,鈥 he said as his window closed.

As the van pulled forward, Rex shifted uneasily in the passenger seat and looked over at Jimmy. The hum of the van鈥檚 engine, the rhythmic sweep of the windshield wipers, the soft patter of rain and wet snow on the metal roof鈥 there wasn鈥檛 enough sound to distract from the awkward silence. When the van turned left at the second street, Rex finally said, 鈥淗ey.鈥

鈥渊别补丑?鈥

鈥淲hat happened back there 鈥撯

鈥淲as pretty fucked up.鈥 Rex sensed this wasn鈥檛 the time for a follow-up question. 鈥淥nly thing I want is to be left alone. Back in the fall it was some other rookie, a lady cop. She pulled me over, told me my tires looked low. I was like, Don鈥檛 tell me you鈥檙e stopping any white folk and checking their PSI. That day I decided to go to the station, tell them I was tired of this shit. Sarge said he鈥檇 tell his folks to leave me alone, but then he asked for my plate, and I was like, I ain鈥檛 giving you nothing, all you gotta do is tell your folks 鈥-

鈥淪orry.鈥 Rex saw Jimmy stiffen at the interruption. 鈥淢y family鈥檚 trailer 鈥-鈥 the slender teen pointed out and to the right 鈥 鈥渋t鈥檚 coming up.鈥

鈥淗uh,鈥 Jimmy said as he applied the brakes. 鈥淗ere close on five years, but ain鈥檛 never been up round here.鈥

鈥淣obody comes here unless they have to,鈥 Rex replied.

Jimmy steered the van into a small field of muddy dirt, barren save for random articles of trash: newspapers, plastic jugs, a headless doll. The van鈥檚 headlights illuminated the trailer, a sheet of cloudy plastic peeling away from a front window. The door opened wide enough to let out a large German Shepherd, which sprinted down the wooden steps and raced towards the van, barking loudly. Jimmy stopped the van and the dog leapt onto the driver鈥檚 door, the beast鈥檚 jaws snapping demonically at the window. Jimmy drew back, his eyes wide. 鈥淒amn.鈥

Rex rolled down his window and whistled. 鈥淩ocky, come.鈥 The hound drew back from Jimmy鈥檚 door and ran over to Rex鈥檚 side. 鈥淵ou gonna talk to that sarge again?鈥 Rex asked.

鈥淵eah. And I鈥檒l keep going back, until the message gets through.鈥 Jimmy rested his hands in his lap and looked out to his left.

鈥淪orry you have to put up with that.鈥 Jimmy kept looking out to his left, so Rex wasn鈥檛 sure he was listening. 鈥淧eople around here, they鈥檙e mostly good, but sometimes they just鈥 they have a lot of fear and ignorance too. And sometimes it gets the better of them.鈥

鈥淕uessing you鈥檙e right.鈥 Jimmy wiped his mouth with his right hand, then turned to Rex. 鈥淚鈥檓 also guessing you ain鈥檛 really talking about me any longer.鈥

Rex froze. Red Skeleton. Chief Scarecrow. Iriqueer. Jimmy nodded towards him. 鈥淭here something you want to tell me, son?鈥

The teen shook his head and blinked. 鈥淣o. No, sir.鈥 He reached to open his door, but stopped on feeling Jimmy grab his forearm. The teen turned, his eyes meeting Jimmy鈥檚 stare, the look used by the new assistant fencing coach at Bark Bay High School when he was through playing with you.

鈥淭hat fear and ignorance you mentioned, Slim, it鈥檚 everywhere. There鈥檚 no hiding from it. Sooner or later it鈥檚 gonna come for you -鈥 you won鈥檛 know when or how, but there鈥檚 no stopping it. All you can do is be ready when it comes, and do all you can to meet it on your own terms.鈥

Rex nodded. 鈥淭hat why you didn鈥檛 get out of the van when the officer asked you?鈥

鈥淚f I鈥檇 stepped out this van, no matter what happened next, no matter what I did or said, I was a dead man. Only way to prevent walking into my funeral was to stay where I was, take some control of the situation while keeping my hands out where that cop could see them. You see what I鈥檓 saying?鈥

鈥淵eah,鈥 Rex replied. 鈥淏ut I gotta ask, you running out when Double-J started arguing with the cop. What was that about?鈥

Jimmy scoffed and released his grip on Rex鈥檚 forearm. 鈥淒on鈥檛 get any ideas, Slim. Next time one of you kyids starts mouthing off to the police, I鈥檓 gonna sit back and watch them blow your fool head off.鈥

Rocky began to bark again. 鈥淚 better get going,鈥 Rex said as he rolled up the van window and opened the door. 鈥淭hanks again for the ride home.鈥 He stepped out into the wet mud, turned to shut the van door, then paused and looked up at Jimmy. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e from the south, aren鈥檛 you?鈥

鈥淏orn and raised in Louisiana. Why you ask?鈥

鈥淛ust鈥 curious. Louisiana鈥檚 a long way from Bark Bay. Mind if I ask how you wound up all the way up here?鈥

Rex expected a less cartoonish version of the Klansmen rumor, yet Jimmy didn鈥檛 respond immediately. Rex was about to apologize when Jimmy finally answered.

鈥淏ugs. I hate bugs, Slim. Don鈥檛 like this cold up north, but least it keeps most of the damn bugs away.鈥

Rex doubted this explanation would dispel any rumors. 鈥淪ee you next Tuesday, Mr. Saunders.鈥

鈥淛ust Jimmy. I ain鈥檛 mister nobody, or coach nobody. You got that, Slim?鈥

Rex nodded, then closed the passenger door. Rocky resumed barking and pursued the van as it backed out of the dirt driveway. Rex turned and walked up the decaying wooden steps leading to his family鈥檚 trailer as the van pulled onto the road, Rocky continuing to bark until its taillights disappeared.

鈥 END 鈥


About the Author

Keigh Ahr is the pen name of Ken Rogers, a resident of Northeast Ohio. His fiction has appeared in the Scarlet Leaf Review, The Forthcoming Anthology, and the Take Five Anthology. His essay 鈥淓ssential鈥 was recently published in Voices from the Edge, a collection of essays by workers in front-line industries during the COVID-19 pandemic. While writing and reading are his favorite activities, he鈥檚 also fond of doing his own yard work, which he does reasonably well, and grilling, where his success has been decidedly intermittent.